Did what she had to
by Devil-may-care101
Summary: Oneshot Post 3:08. Did she do the right thing?


_This something that popped into my head after watching episode 8 of season 3 for the first time in ages. I will admit that Cole Turner is one of the sexiest men alive, and his 'NOOO' when he stops the guy kiling Phoebe was just smoking hot and sexy and words I can not describe._

_For any of my CSI NY readers, I will be updating my stories on there shortly, I have just hit a mental block. Should be something up by the end of the weekend._

_Disclaimer: Own Nothing, even though I wish Cole was actually mine (who cares if he's evil!)_

_Enjoy!! And please review, I don't know whether I should continue with writing Charmed fanfics_

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**_A hundred days have made me older  
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face  
A thousand lies have made me colder  
And I don't think I can look at this the same  
But all the miles that separate  
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face_**

I'm here without you baby  
But you're still on my lonely mind  
I think about you baby  
And I dream about you all the time  
I'm here without you baby  
But you're still with me in my dreams  
And tonight it's only you and me

The miles just keep rollin'  
As the people leave their way to say hello  
I've heard this life is overrated  
But I hope that it gets better as we go

I'm here without you baby  
But you're still on my lonely mind  
I think about you baby  
And I dream about you all the time  
I'm here without you baby  
But you're still with me in my dreams  
And tonight girl its only you and me

Everything I know, and anywhere I go  
It gets hard but it won't take away my love  
And when the last one falls  
When it's all said and done  
It gets hard but it wont take away my love

I'm here without you baby  
But you're still on my lonely mind  
I think about you baby  
And I dream about you all the time  
I'm here without you baby  
But you're still with me in my dreams  
And tonight girl its only you and me

"_I forgot what it was like to be human, to feel, to care. Then I met you."_

Phoebe sat on the edge of her bed, blankly staring at the wall in front of her, unable to sleep. Guilt and uncertainty plagued her mind - had she done the right thing?

In her hands was a photo of her and Cole, taken not three weeks before. They looked so happy. Phoebe couldn't believe that it was all pretend, that everything he'd ever told her about himself was a lie. Couldn't believe she hadn't seen it.

"_I won't hurt you."  
_"_It's a little too late for that don't you think?"_

She'd been fighting demons for over two years and yet she couldn't identify the one who was a threat to her. She'd been blinded by lust which slowly turned to love. Not that she would have admitted it. She, Phoebe Halliwell, falling for a man she'd only known a short amount of time? But now, because she'd been so blinded by her feelings, she'd almost gotten herself and her sisters killed, because she hadn't seen that the treat was right on front of her all along.

"_I couldn't kill you. I tried, I was supposed to. I had you right where I wanted you. All I had to do was finish the job. But I couldn't. Because I realised I loved you. I admit, everything else is a lie. But not that. I know you know that too, in your heart. This isn't a mask Phoebe, this is who I am. Who I really am."_

Her heart ached, the pain of Cole's betrayal still fresh. How could he have lied? But then, she already knew that answer. He was a demon. And demons lie. They wait until they have gained someone's trust and then they strike. Which is what Cole should have done, what he'd tried to do. But he couldn't.

Because he loved her.

But they couldn't love each other. For he was a demon, and she was a witch. Witches and demons do not mix. They do not fall in love. They can't. There is no in-between - you are either good or evil. You can't be both.

But both was what Cole was trying to be. Both evil and good. He'd tried to fulfil his mission and fall in love. The only problem was that he'd fallen for the one person he couldn't, the one person he'd been trained to kill.

And he could have killed her. He'd had many chances. She'd let her guard down when she was with him, she'd run to him for comfort. But he hadn't killed her, even though he'd tried.

"_But you've awakened something in me Phoebe, something I thought had died a long time ago. My humanity, my ability to love."_

Phoebe cursed herself. She'd put herself in a corner, unable to do anything after trying so hard to please everyone. Deep inside, it was killing her that she was lying to her sisters, but at the same time she knew they wouldn't understand. She was torn - should she have killed him when she'd had the chance? Because he wouldn't have stopped her. Hell, he even offered himself to her. But she couldn't kill him, just as he couldn't have killed her. She knew, even though he was a demon, even though he was evil, that she couldn't have killed him, any more than Piper would have been able to kill Leo, or Prue being able to kill Andy. She loved him, even if it was wrong, even if it was forbidden. She couldn't help it. She loved him.

But she couldn't, shouldn't love him. Because he'd lied. He'd tried to kill her.

But in the end he'd saved her. He'd risked everything to save her.

But then, even if he had, even if they did love each other, they couldn't be together. The whole magical world believed he was dead, good and evil alike. She'd let him go, but would that really be the best fate for him - always running, always hiding? Was that a fate worse than death? If they knew he was alive, then they would always be after him. If he was dead, well it wouldn't be much different from now - after all, wasn't she pretending that he was dead? All she knew was that almost anything would be better than this limbo. Knowing that he was alive, but they would never be able to be together was almost as painful as him being dead in the first place.

Even is she shouldn't love him, even though she knew that is was dangerous, stupid, against everything she's ever worked for, she knew it was helpless. She knew she was in love. Why else would she be in a mess like this? Why else would she have risked everything, lied to everyone?

She knew that letting him go was the only option, she couldn't kill him, couldn't let someone else kill him. She'd done what she had to do, even if it left her in a mess she couldn't extract herself from, even if she didn't know what to do now.

She'd done what she had to do.

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_Please r'n'r - I love Phoebe and Cole's relationship and I would love to know your opinions on my take on it :)_


End file.
